I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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