Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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