I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
