The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize