all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
