I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
