It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
