I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
