I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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