And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
