Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my poor anus
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
