Don't you send me to vm
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the day after is always just damage control
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
