Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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