i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
