went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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