therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
