I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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