Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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