How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
