I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
