Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I believe in your delicious
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
