also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
