I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I know her cup size but not her name....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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