She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
