you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
