you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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