three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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