I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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