swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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