guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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