Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
