God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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