it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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