I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
