We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
