Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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