I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
