I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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