i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
