Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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