if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
