I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
