I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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