He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
