Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
