his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
