I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
