chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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