Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
