...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize