false alarm. still invincible.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize