its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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