did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
