waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we're making bets on your personal life
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
