I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
