Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just gift wrapped bread.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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