i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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