I bet he comes in French.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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