tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
