I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
