Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
