the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I can't trust your balls anymore.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All I want is dick and wine.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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