he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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