HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
