Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
