Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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