Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
