When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
