Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
