Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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