I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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