What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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